yeah thank you

smu rejected me.

peace

smu interview!

guess what.
i missed the call from smu again today!

i didn’t want to call them back but baby just dialed back the number and pushed the phone to my ear.

anyway, i have an interview this friday!

exciting sia.

unknown number

i have this habit of not picking up unknown numbers.
and of course, not picking up calls whenever i feel like it.

there was this number that has been calling my cell for the past 1 month.

68280538

and since i din have a name registered to the number, i didn’t bother to pick up the call.

THEN

they called again today.
and it suddenly dawned on me that it could be cos of my uni applications!

WOW. how stupid am i to not have thought of that for the past 1 month?
i was still thinking how come smu take so long to get back to my application.

on a side note, if smu has changed their system of informing undergraduate applicants from emails/letters to home to calling them, i think it’s dumb because black and white on paper is still the best.
though u can say it’s a personal preference, but i don’t care, it’s still the best way to inform someone of something of such importance.

haha. i shall just wait for another call from 68280538.

anyway, i’ve learnt a lesson.

from today onwards, i shall pick up all calls on my cell and then, if i decide to end the conversation, i can always hang up again.
easy peasy

Don’t Peel Your Lips!

My lips these days very dry, then keep on peeling them.
Either with my thumb and index finger or my own teeth.
Then they will bleed and got blood then after that blood dries up, then it’s OUCH painful.
haha. i’m gonna take NBF’s advice to stop peeling them

anyway, I got Business Administration (Accountancy) for NUS.
I don’t know why i don’t feel happy about it.
I know some people want to get in this, then still put it as their first few choices but still didn’t get in. I shouldn’t talk about it further lest some people come and flame my blog. (this really has no intention of making anyone pissed)
see what handoko said to me:

han says:
my first choice
han says:
is ur 5th choice
han says:
haha
han says:
thats the diff of 1 A

Results are so dumb.
Its a thought that has always lived in my mind, and it has resurfaced today.
Again, without results, it’s difficult to judge who deserves to study the course we want, and what we are going to do next time and what kind of lives we will lead next time.
(i know some people will think i suck to the core la cos i take their place even when i don’t really want to pursue it. Handoko i’m not referring to you)
Just for the record, i’m not a retard who puts the choice there wishing that i can occupy someone else’s place and totally have no interest in studying accounting.

Anyway I didn’t play dota at all today.
YEAH. i woke up at 9am and 12 hours later, i haven’t touched dota.
I have been chatting online (mostly with NBF ) and studying SAT.
Today i also went to IDP office to get some info about university admissions in Australia.
Nothing’s confirmed yet so i think i should not say anything about it.
But i gotta say my interest in Law is quite high.
The woman from Monash Uni told me that with my grades, it’s almost guaranteed that i can get into law. Yeah, i know my gp got D but they looked at my O’lvl English grade!
(after reading this, i suppose some pple will come and ask me why u want study law and stuff)

I’m watching the last episode of The Truth (the 9pm show on channel on tv now and i kinda forgot about everything i wanted to blog about.
Actually got alot of things to say one leh but just forgot.

OH anyway for those people who’ve been wondering why my msn pm so emo/sadist/weird/chim for a person like me and stuff, here’s where i got it.
[scroll to 2:24 and listen to the dialogue. ignore the video.]

My blood cries out for the vengeance of my peoples blood.
Which can only be repaid with at least twice as much blood, or maybe three times as much blood!
Like if you went to hell… and it was full of blood! And that blood was on fire! And it was raining blood!
And maybe that would be enough blood!!!!

tomorrow’s the weekend again!
this time no section 2 outing so i think i’ll stay at home and rot. ROT till my lips are healed.

NOTE: Regarding that Loacker being mistaken as Toacker, it’s just a one-time thing. I swear I’m not a dumb person. haha. REALLY lah.

Uncertainty Prevails

So now the Alevels are over,
and i’m passing out today (which i’m not even attending after thinking it thru clearly)

what’s next for me?
for a 18 going 19 kid. 

yesterday morning, i was happily applying for scholarships and looking up universities. I even dug out my 16 PF (a test i did in vj that somewhat tells me what type of person i am and what job im suited for) and the Oscar report which match my interests and abilities to come up with a list of suitable jobs.

they include:

1.  Laboratory Officer (Health)
2. Precision Optician
3. Optometrist
4. Radiographer, Diagnostic & Radiation Therapist
5. Math Teacher
6. Dental Technician
7. Medical Technician

the last 2 choices are like saying “haha dont worry la. u are not cut out to be a dentist or a doctor BUT u can be a technician in those fields “

crap.

The thing for me is that my interests and my abilities don’t match at all. That explains the list of occupations u see above. Another thing is my parents. Don’t know what to say abt it but many times in life, the things we want to do are different from what they want us to do. Though some people could say this is a problem of how independent we are to make our own decisions, i prefer to look at it as expectations they have in us. (do i make sense here? it sounds out of point) Of course, u wld want ur parents to be happy, to get in the course they always wanted to do in the past or the course they know is good for us.But on the other hand, wld u be happy studying what u don’t really have any interest in?

Right now, there’s an even bigger problem. I dont really know what i want. Maybe i will end up as a road sweeper next time if i still can’t make up my freaking mind. (inspired by teerapong)

I know what courses i want to apply for, but i’m not sure if that’s what i really want.it’s crazy but i’m going to try for medicine. haha. u get gp D and 3As, u want apply?

ya pple will say that la and i understand why. In a country where there are so many straight As students with their GP grade > D, my chances are slim. But, … (wonder what’s the point of saying this, i dont know how to continue) 

anyway, the main point of this entry is to prevent my brain from internal explosion which may lead to the end of zixuan. But, i’m just ranting away here and not making any point, no stand, no nothing. no wonder gp D.

it’s raining today again. i guess Hawk Platoon 4 are gonna march in the rain and moan about why zixuan is not there and how much they miss me. not. And i think i’m going to spend the rest of the afternoon baking brownies and probably think about my future. What do i exactly want in life. 

OH before i eat my porridge, i got 2 things i wanna say.

1. If u guys and girls on msn are wondering about my personal message, ellen page refers to my macbook.

2. I’m not lying when i say my promos results are 4S. here’s the proof. lazy to scan into the comp so here’s what i entered in the brightsparks portal. After typing and looking at it, i’m amazed that even i can do something like that. A ‘i’ who dont even know what he wants in life now. (but i’m still proud that i got such improvement) i’m not trying to hao lian here. really.

random thoughts in my mind

well,

i forgot to thank some other people.

-SG. who was my gp tutor. though i got a miserable D, but i still have to thank him for making gp quite an interesting subject and it really made me wanna excel in it. in the end, i got a D. it sucks but life’s like that. ups and downs. pick urself up zixuan.

-Teerapong and Handoko for their motivation. (niao me here and there everytime)

AND to those who din do well.. it’s not the end. just pick urself up from where u are now and take the necessary steps. Life’s like that. Time dun rewind, and it doesnt wait for us. If u miss a chance or an opportunity to do what u really want, it may never come again. it applies to everything la. not only studies. these words have been said so many umpteen times everywhere; u and me have seen it in books, dramas, movies, newspapers, articles, compre passages, quotes from pple, what ur frens usually say to u when sth goes wrong in ur life,…

And to juniors,

MY STORY:

Zixuan started as a slacker in j1. everyday confirm miss a few lessons, be it tutorials or lectures. but he took pw seriously for some reason. anyway, his results in the first test was shit. crap. rubbish. atrocious. horrible. bad. terrible. lousy.

but he din learn his lesson. continue to slack and go out, spending less time studying.

aft mid years, he finally woke up abit. but he realised that the amt of work that he need to catch up with is piling up with each day. at the end of j1, he got what he deserved for treating j1 as a honeymoon year. really honeymoon (can pon sch as and when he like and tchrs dun really bother to ask le)

PROMOs : SSSS

gp grade dun matter cos the rest of the 4H2 suck.

and the most amazing thing, he still told teachers he want take h3. what a joker la.

j2, he dropped his econs to h1. he took his re-assessment in jan 2007, but end up, he got:

A for math

U for physics

S for chemistry.

A for math is partly cos the paper is similar to that of promos. it looks like he’s back to his honeymoon year when he’s actually in 2007 – the year he has to take his Alevel. Somehow 2007 seems to be the year where he finally woke up from his long hibernation from studies. from tutorials. it started well for him. the 2 As from chinese and PW provided him with the motivation to get As for his A level. He started doing tutorials, clarifying his doubts, sit in first few rows of LT, instead of sitting at the last row sleeping or listening to ipod. His prelims showed marked improvement but he still wanted nothing less than As (which is a letter that is ever so important to all students)

then he studied almost everyday, limited his time on the computer, became more noob in dota just to become more pro in studies. and finally, the Alevels are over.

In 2008, he got his grades and well, thinking back now, he felt happy. if not for gp, he wld be even happier. but he gotta accept it.

and now the journey ahead awaits him.

END

okay..

though my grades aint that amazing probably because of that gp D, but if i do serve as some kind of motivation to u, pls dont wow here and there. GO AND STUDY. become a mugger. but not a very xiong one, that has no life and closet mug at home.

its really not too late to start now. dun become a crazy person and start studying like everyday, every weekend. miss all the nice movies in theatres, lose all ur frens. like that even if u get straight As for the A’s, u wun feel happy one. trust me.

Friends are as impt as the A’s are. (supposed to be more impt, but for the sake of asking u pple to study, its as impt as A’s) so please study.

i know im getting very long-winded but cant help it la. too many thoughts in my mind liao. this is just one of the many.

mac

i’ve finally gotten my macbook   

thanks to my mum, who’s so nice to bring me to IT show despite having no voice to talk properly. we went into the hall, then about 20 mins, we came out with a brand new macbook. like some magic show like that.

now i’m playing around with it. just installed warcraft on it. next, i’ll get a mouse and then i can play dota le   

some pictures of my new wife. promised to take care of it and not let it suffer the same fate as my ipod.

 

  

well i promised i’m not going to emo about my results.

here’s my results if anyone wanna know.

AAABD

B for physics H2
D for GP (SUCKS)

i think im considering to retake gp. seriously.

well, since the results are out already, no point thinking abt why like this why like that.

A BIG THANKS to:

-Sean & Yonghong (Yifan rarely) who are my studying buddies throughout the preparations for prelims and As. thanks for putting up with my nonsense and retarded qns now and then

-The teachers who never gave up on me despite my poor and cant be bothered attitude in J1. thanks for answering all my doubts (especially mr chan, but i’m sorry i could only get a B for physics)

-My classmates for being so encouraging at times. I’m sorry if i ever compare any of ur grades to mine. (after a long time, i’ve realised that comparing urself with others has no purpose at all)

-The people who sent me good luck messages before the papers and before the results. Such simple gestures do mean a lot to me.

-My family who has never given up on me once right from the first day of school in j1, especially my parents. Sorry if my grades aren’t what u all expected but i really put in my best. the only regret i have is not studying hard in j1. So, for myself and for my parents, im not going to repeat the same mistake in uni year 1. this time, i’ll make sure i’ll keep to this promise. oh! and my brother, who prayed for me before i collected my results.

-Mr Azmi, a guy who had taught me since sec 3. Then, he was just like any other ordinary tuition teacher who taught me Amath and Physics. Now, he’s more like a friend, an old friend. haha. A good teacher and a good friend, what more can i ask for. The fact that my math can get A, it’s also because of him. Once, i hated math but now, i don’t. (not that i exactly love it, but ya, math > econs)

-my friends. simple as that. no explanation needed.

-a special friend of mine, who provides me with the motivation to push on studying. 

-everyone else i missed out. 

okay, let’s move on with my next phase of life now

I’m really lost confused excited about it man. nono, really. right

what will you get?

its so obvious what my nick is referring to but i still gotta say it.

A’level results are released tomorrow! wanted to put an emoticon here but couldnt figure out which is appropriate.

there’s mixed feelings but mostly bad la. i’m a type of person who always expect the worst, and hope for the best. expect the worst. (i repeat) maybe thats why some people think i’m fake and hypocritcal sometimes when i say “how sia. going to fail la.” things like that. but it’s just me. well, but i wun say i never study at all, then end up getting 4As. that’ downright fake and cheating urself. what’s the point?

okay let’s not digress.

i’m not going that early tmr cos i’ll have an urge to see the board. the board which shows who are the ones who got 3As and above. if my name’s not there, then immediately my mood sure changes de.

okay, i promise this is the 1st and last time i’ll be emoing abt the A’s results.

well, right now, i’m feeling rather nervous and kinda excited about it. haha who don’t? okay maybe those who confirm getting 4As one. but, even these people also say wun one la, cos got careless mistakes and this and that. so to put it simply, everyone’s feeling kinda jittery abt tmr’s results. (dont shake ur head. u know u do)

whatever the results i’m getting tmr, i promise i’ll try and be myself. not too emo and not too happy.

Right now, i’m happy. cos i finally can play PATAPON on my PSP :D

it’s this damn cute 2-D game. real cute and adorable little black figures moving around in that small screen.

anyway, i saw this forum topic at www.sgforums.com. hope u’ll be amused by it as much as me.