when the hippo opens her mouth and the pig opens his nostrils

haha i just realized something.
My blog is getting more and more boring as the days pass by.
If it’s not talking about myself, it’ll be talking about random stuff.
If not, then it’ll be an attempt of zixuan trying to act like a wise old man.
haha.

Anyway, here i am again.

1. Promises are made
2. Promises are fulfilled

Everyone can do the 1, but not everyone can do 2.

And the world’s not a fair place to live in for everyone.

Just look around you. Everyone has a different family background, and a different group of friends.
Hence the way each individual is brought up is different.
I would say i’m from a rather fortunate family – don’t have to worry about this and that.
And not much bad things have happened in my family.
But it was only when i grow older then i realized this.

I believe that the family is an important factor in shaping one’s character.
Just look at rich kids, seldom do they do things on their own at home.
And hence, they get very pampered and spoilt; just look at kids nowadays. not my generation la of course.
Yes, this is stereotyping.
You can’t blame me for doing this as in our society, stereotyping is like the norm.

I really admire and respect those people who are who they are today because of certain tough phases in life that they had to go through.

And i realized something today.

Looks aren’t everything (except if u’re in the world of modelling)
BUT Confidence determines everything.

All Grown Up?

Finally met up with azmi after such a long time.

haha. we chatted and ate at siglap.
first it was beef kway teow then gelare.
I didn’t know he don’t want waffle then end up i had to help him finish his waffle.
lol.
and i kinda felt that gelare is somewhat over-priced.

He looks more haggard than few years ago, when he first taught us in sec 3.

I’m very lucky to have a teacher like him.
He taught me many things and for that, i thank him for being my tuition teacher and a very good friend of mine.

Talking to him is always enlightening.
It really makes me reflect on my actions, my childishness, my character and a person as a whole.
From sec 3 until now, i wouldn’t say that i’ve changed alot.
What he said is true, deep down inside, no matter how i change my appearance or hairstyle, i am still the sec 3 zixuan that he knows.

and, that’s not necessarily a good thing.

I saw a maltese today.
and it’s currently my favorite breed of dog.

find my blog getting more and more boring? or less and less interesting?
I think it’s time to scan my entire p5 journal into the computer and post it here.
It’s very intriguing to see how cute and childish i was 8 years ago.

Facts of Life

Changes are hard to be implemented or made.
And yet, once they are made or implemented, they are hard for humans like us to adapt to.
However once we adapt to such changes, there will be some more changes made.
Thus, a vicious cycle is formed.
That’s life.
But if one is able to find euphoria in the midst of all these changes and the hectic pace of life now, one is able to enjoy life.
The 24 hours we have is never enough.
So many things to do, so little time.
There can never be finished work, as work is never-ending.
But we are able to prioritize which work is more important and hence finish those first and KIV the rest.
Sometimes, we see other people who err in doing certain things.
We have two choices; two choices which everyone is entitled to and it is up to each of us to choose which one we want to carry out.
1. We learnt from the mistakes that people made
2. We continue the legacy of these mistakes by committing them again
This reminds me of something suddenly
To err is human, to forgive is divine
When we make mistakes, most of us would say it’s natural to do so cos we are not perfect and stuff.
However, if others make mistakes, whether is it a light or serious one, we may find it tough to forgive their stupidity/ignorance/mistakes immediately. That’s human.
To forgive is really a divine act.
Master it well and good.

That’s all for now.
Wise Poh has decided to sleep instead of blabbering on and on about stuff that everyone already knows.
GOODNIGHT!

P.S. I find my euphoria in you

Thirsty Hippo

Last week went past quickly.
The previous week before last week went past rather fast too.
Nothing much happened on weekdays from 8 to 5.30 cos i’m doing pretty much the same old thing everyday.

Talk to enciks and ciks.
Photocopy papers.
Laminating.
Booklet-printing occasionally.
Stare at computer screen and see the same old emails again.

BUT just last week, saya kena caught for long hair.
ya. i repeat. I was caught for long hair.
我被抓头发长.
haha. i’m not really feeling hateful or anything but i just find it quite ridiculous.
I overheard someone asking the rp, “our hair like that also cannot then what can?”
rp: “they want slope. as long got slope can liao”
haha.
Then what’s more, the Nsmen also kena caught.
those who come back for reservist.
Imagine those who come back for 3 to 5 days only, because of that their hair kena cut.
I think it’s quite dumb. u cut nsf, regular one still okay.
We LL pay 5 bucks bo bian, but nsmen? let them off la.
No wonder so many nsmen want geng, get mc, come up with so many problems.
SOSAF.

Shame On SAF.

anyway, that incident aside, I met QAZIM 2 times!
haha finally sia.
after so long, i finally met him at my camp.
He looks all the same sia.
still blur-looking and handsome and malay-looking.

Random FACTS:

I passed my FTT.
My TP is like so damn long away. in jan 2009.
I love FOSH.
I am blogging whatever that comes to mind.
That’s why there’s no particular order.
I’ve taken one step in mastering the art of staying awake on the bus.
I realized that what i’m blogging now shares an uncanny similarity with my facebook profile.
BingQiang is going to UK on 3rd Oct.
I want to meet up with yonghong for lunch.
I am only getting my Pink IC in 414 days.
I miss eating snowskin mooncake.
I love my family.
I miss the sun.
I want to buy a bicycle.
I want to drink more Ni Jiom Pei Pi Pa Kao.
I think the Allswell commericial is a freaking joke. (it even comes out on the papers today. about time sia)
Il don’tl knowl whyl peoplel likel tol talkl likel thisl siallllllllllll.
siall.

And now a random quote,
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead where there’s no path and leave a trail.

Now the question is, when will i be able to go and leave a trail of my own.
First place to start with: my office at NSC.

Sometimes I really wish that i am not the person i am now.
I’m too unique already. That’s put in a nice way.
I’m too weird. That’s the harsh way.
I’m too full of crap. That’s the reality.

HAHAHA.

sorry peeps. It’s a sunday morning.
I got an appointment with the sun, brb here soon.

HANDOKO I WANT GO YOUR SOCIAL NIGHT

han says:
my sergeant smsed me

han says:
say i go ocs

han says:
so 3 weeks confinemnet sial

han says:
sian

han says:
cannot see me for 3 weeks

han says:
haha

CONGRATS HANDOKO!

hahaha. i want go your social night. don’t care i book you.
i > mel > fel > pong > dan (the names other than me are in no particular order)

One Cookie’s enough for me :)

Gym Class Heroes – Cookie Jar

Gym class heroes…
[The Dream:]
Radiokilla killa

[Travis:]
Hahaha You know what it is
Gym class heroes, the dream
It’s hard to look innocent when I got cookie crumbs all over my face

[Chorus:]
[The Dream:]
I like girls
They like me
They look so good
In they Seven jeans
Told you to be the one
And my only
I wanna faithful
But I can’t keep my hands out the cookie jar.
[Travis:]
My hands, my hands, my ha uh, my hands
Can’t keep my hands, my hands, my, my, my
Can’t keep my hands, my hands, my ha uh, my
Can’t keep my hands, my hands, my hands out the cookie jar.

[Travis:]
You see I got this problem
I need help tryna solve it
Cause meeting after meeting and
I’m still a cookie-holic
You can hide em, Imma find them
On the counter, in the closet
And I’ll say I ain’t do it with my face
Covered in chocolate
My girl be setting booby traps
To catch me eating Scooby snacks
I left crumbs in the bed once
But I told her I was through with that
She still don’t be believing me
And I guess that I’m cool with that
But I got a sweet tooth, that’ll never come loose
And the truth of the matter is.

[Chorus:]
[The Dream:]
I like girls,
They like me
They look so good
In they Seven jeans
want you to be the one
And my only
I wanna be faithful
But I can’t keep my hands out the cookie jar
[Travis:]
My hands, my hands, my ha uh, my hands
Can’t keep my hands, my hands, my uh, my
Can’t keep my hands, my hands, my uh, my
Can’t keep my hands, my hands my hands out the cookie jar.

[Travis:]
I got a thing for Milano, Biscotti Italianos
And I never turn down some Oreos if you got those
Butter Pecan Puerto Rican,
Or them Oatmeal Raisin Asians.
Hazelnut Brazilians,
Macadamia Caucasians,
Double stuffed or thin mint
It don’t matter you getting it
Cause I got a sweet tooth that’ll never come loose
And the fact of the matter is.

[Chorus:]
[The Dream:]
I like girls,
They like me
They look so good
In they’re Seven jeans
Want you to be the one
And my only
I want to be faithful
But I can’t keep my hands out the cookie jar
[Travis:]
My hands, my hands, my ha uh my hands
Can’t keep my hands, my hands, my, uh, my
Can’t keep my hands, my hands, my, uh, my
Can’t keep my hands, my hands my hands out the cookie jar.

[Travis:]
I’m a monster for these cookies
I’m a beast for they treats
An animal for they crackers
Head to feet they so damn sweet
Can’t keep my hands, my hands, my ha-uh my
Can’t keep my hands, my hands, my hands out the cookie jar.

[Travis:]
And there you have it haha
I tried my best
I went to cookie anonymous
I guess I’m a failure
I can’t seem to keep my damn hands out the cookie jar but,
It is what it is.

Can’t get enough

Muse – Time Is Running Out

I think I’m drowning
asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
that you’ve created

you’re something beautiful
a contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

you will be the death of me
you will be the death of me

bury it
I won’t let you bury it
I won’t let you smother it
I won’t let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can’t push it underground
you can’t stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
but I’m addicted

now that you know I’m trapped sense of elation
you’d never dream of
breaking this fixation

you will squeeze the life out of me

bury it
I won’t let you bury it
I won’t let you smother it
I won’t let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can’t push it underground
you can’t stop it screaming out
how did it come to this?
ooooohh

you will suck the life out of me

bury it
I won’t let you bury it
I won’t let you smother it
I won’t let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can’t push it underground
you can’t stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
ooooohh

The Longest Movie

最长的电影 – 周杰倫

我們的開始 是很長的電影
放映了三年 我票都還留著
冰上的芭蕾 腦海中還在旋轉
望著妳 慢慢忘記妳

朦朧的時間 我們溜了多遠
冰刀劃的圈 圈起了誰改變
如果再重來 會不會稍嫌狼狽
愛是不是不開口才珍貴

再給我兩分鐘 讓我把記憶結成冰
別融化了眼淚 妳妝都花了要我怎麼記得
記得妳叫我忘了吧 記得妳叫我忘了吧
妳說妳會哭 不是因為在乎

朦朧的時間 我們溜了多遠
冰刀劃的圈 圈起了誰改變
如果再重來 會不會稍嫌狼狽
愛是不是不開口才珍貴

再給我兩分鐘 讓我把記憶結成冰
別融化了眼淚 妳妝都花了要我怎麼記得
記得妳叫我忘了吧 記得妳叫我忘了吧
妳說妳會哭 不是因為在乎

再給我兩分鐘 讓我把記憶結成冰
別融化了眼淚 妳妝都花了要我怎麼記得
記得妳叫我忘了吧 記得妳叫我忘了吧
妳說妳會哭 不是因為在乎

uh-oh

uh-oh

Reminiscing

reminisce – indulge in an enjoyable recollection of past events

I was clearing my things the other day.
I dug out and threw away unwanted stuff, stuff that i don’t even look at and yet they are occupying precious space in my room.
And i realized that there’re so much rubbish that are long overdue and should be thrown away long ago.
Then i saw my journal lying at the corner of the bottom shelf in my wardrobe.
My P5’s journal.
8 years ago.
Say long also not long, cos some of my khs memories still stay so vivid to me even up till this very day.
But say short, also not very short, cos throughout this 8 years, i’ve really grown from a young and childish boy to a older and slightly > childish guy.

This is what my journal looks like:

As u can see, my journal = many notebooks being scotch-taped together.
13 notebooks altogether, and all it took was 10 whole months to write that many journal entries.
haha. the most memorable thing i remembered was that i was competing with daniel soon over who could write the most number of books.
And i came out on top in the end. haha i guess the reason was that daniel finally realized that how this competition is meaningless in determining the results we are gonna get in exams. haha.

okay, that’s not the point.
haha the point is, i realized that my character from 8 years ago until now.. has not really changed that much.
I’m really still the same old poh zi xuan.

From a young age, i was already very competitive.
I love winning and if i don’t win, i usually throw tantrums or i would be in a lousy mood.
Even in playing the playstation with my brother, this ugly side of me always fail to be concealed.
I used to vent my frustration, when i failed to clear a level or i lose to my brother in a certain game, on my playstations controllers.
And in total, i changed about 3 controllers, whereas zy has been using the same one all along.
Yeah, i sometimes tend to take things too seriously and this is mainly cos i want to win.
This journal-writing competition in p5 between daniel and I also revealed this competitive nature in me.

“But Miss Swee, when i received my journal, I was disappointed as I thought that you are going to write super long replys. But what do I get? Wa!! Boo!! Three pages! For Daniel, more than that and that is only last week’s journal. As for me, last last week and last week’s journals, you did not reply. I thought that I will get a longer than him, give me an answer, please?”

“Before I end, I have one request, can you gave me a long, super long, extremly long reply as I wanted to win Daniel in Journal writing, please?”

“Today I am going to talk about my journal competitor, Daniel Soon Wei Ren. I am competing with him for most journals and books written. He is also my best class friend and my present monitor. When Miss Swee is reading his journal, she replys alot. But for mine, very little replys. Why is it so?”

Even when he gets more replies than me, I also feel damn sian diao at that time.
Even in length of replies from Ms Swee (my pri sch teacher and i still think she’s very good) I also want to compete with her.
Frankly speaking, actually this competitive nature follows me from 8 years ago until now.
I’ve reduced it greatly, if not i would confirm die in jc one, espcially in one like vjc.
But this thing of me is very difficult to be changed. And in fact as the years go by, though i’ve become less competitive, i do get jealous easily sometimes.
And this jealousy is something that pisses off not only myself but people around me. cos my mood will tend to change unknowingly.
But after a while, i will revert back to my normal happy-go-lucky self. haha however sometimes what’s done cannot be undone – i’ve showed people that i’m a jealous and insensitive guy.
This is one thing that i don’t like about myself. haha but sometimes i can’t control my nature.
just like how we cannot control mother nature, which is why there’s natural disasters in this world.

BTW, Please pardon the poor command of english for those words in italics. I was P5 then, so confirm got errors here and there.haha.

Thinking back about it now, i feel so childish then.
To think that we still talked about who liked who, spreaded rumours here and there.
Wrote autograph books putting stuff like “SUPER DUPER SPECIAL FRIEND: XXXXXXX”
haha but well, who wasn’t in that stage before?

It’s quite amazing how much everyone has grown from a small little boy or girl to a mature man or woman or at least we are on our process to being one ourselves in some point of our lives.
-insert wow expression-

In the journals, i realized that I’ve spoken bad of certain people too.
And thinking back now, it’s not cos i’m a mean person but it’s more like i’m childish.
haha.
Since it’s 8 years ago, i shall list out some of the names of people who i’ve complained to Ms Swee about before.

Hanbin:But lucky oh lucky, our best player Hanbin still can play, but i hate him, he is very selfish. (talking about a bball match when Hanbin got pushed and tripped around)

Tingting:(i didn’t really talk about anything, i just drew picture of a small circle and a big circle below, signifying a very fat person and at the top i put the heading: The Main Attraction from blue house)

Wei Shing:The peron that I am talking about is Weishing. Miss Swee, do you know the idiom “改过自新”? I have invented an idiom for Weishing “改对变坏”… he had become from an angel to a devil. He is getting “dirtier” and “dirtier”… I do not know why Ms Swee still says that “Weishing is a responsible boy” But in what way is he responsible? I just do not get it. Please give me a reply.

Kim Keat:Kim Keat started throwing the papers at the girls for no specific reason. He is crazy and mad!.. But I really hate Kim Keat as much as Weishing and most of the pupils in class does. I think he is also the black sheep in our group.

(cont’d) Do something about Kim Keat, please. he is idiotic!

LOL. damn childish. these are real excerpts from my journal. haha.

anyway, away from this topic cos i think it’s getting a little bit too boring already.
I think that Ms Swee, my form teacher for 3 years from P4 to P6, has kinda changed me as a person while i’m growing up.
A significant thing is her constant reminder about my ugly handwriting, and it’s thanks to her that my handwriting now (though not fantastically beautiful) but it has evolved into something that’s rather legible to most pple now.
Besides, her many comments written in response to my journal are so thought-provoking sometimes, and encouraging too.
However it is only now then i realized that some of my entries, she simply just fuyan-ed me.
An example is something like:

“My brother and I decided to exercise so we went up the staircase right up to the 8th storey. Our Ah Ma took the lift. Just as we expected, we still reached the door first. We are still the CHAMPS!”

ms swee’s reply?

good

LOL. She must be thinking: She’s ur grandma and u two still raced with her. 无聊还是bo liao sia.

Well,
reminiscing is an enjoyable recollection of past events.. and looking back at the 8 years that have passed me by, it’s not really reminiscing all the time.
There’s times when i think about it now, I feel that I was a rather sad kid last time.
But then again, there are times that made me smile when i think about them now.

Whatever’s the case..
most importantly, i’m living in the present now.
And i cherish whatever i have now.
From my family to my friends to her.
I’m happy that life’s going the way it is now, and if given a choice, i wouldn’t have chosen to live it in any other way. Though this sounds damn cliche, but it’s a true fact.

And some decisions that I’ve made this year, especially an important one on the 10th May, are decisions that I would never change if given a second, third or even fourth chance to live the year 2008 again.

(to be continued…)